Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Diet tip: your pants will never get too tight if you don’t wear any.
I may not be the smartest guy in the world, or the richest guy in the world, or the best-looking guy in the world, but,....Oh,hell. Now I`m depressed.
I decided I`m going to be poor... Its Cheaper :)
Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by his parents anymore.
Michael Schumacher`s former crew just visited him in the hospital. They changed the wheels on his bed and his drip in 4.4 secs.
My dream job is a pharmacy cashier & yelling for a price check every time someone checks out anal ointment, condoms, & men buying maxi pads.
Im afraid to go outside or even sit next to a window during an lightening storm. Im afraid that I`ll get zapped! I`m scared that God is gonna get me!!!
"Hey homie!" - How I greet my house whenever I arrive.
I found the key to happiness ... Stay away from a$$holes.
Not to brag or anything, but I don`t need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
I’m just gonna let my pillow decide my hairstyle for tomorrow.
I`m convinced girls only want one thing from guys... all of our hoodies. -Bfanch
I`m a little Stressed right now ... Just turn around and leave quietly and no one gets hurt.
The internet is full of cats because dog people actually go outside.
If we all had to wear a warning label, what would yours say?