Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Of course I talk to myself. I need to have an intelligent conversation every now and then.
I had the urge to clean my place today so I laid down until the urge went away.
How do blind people know when to stop wiping their asses
Im pretty sure that my shrink this week mumbled "this is pure gold" under his breath
"Please don`t put a million dumb photos of me on your Facebook... it just annoys your friends" - Every baby
I`ve always pictured myself taking selfies.
To the untrained eye, I`m quite handsome.
New research reported that men enjoy snuggling. A second study showed that men will say anything to get a researcher into bed.
I`ve been calling my wife "honey" for 12 years because I don`t know how to tell her I forgot her name.
Life in the fast lane ? Heck, I live in oncoming traffic.
I have no super powers. I`m guessing I`m the villain.
The secret to a successful lemonade stand is vodka.
Why hasn`t anyone written a sequal song to "Jessie`s Girl" ... Where he discovers what an incredible high maintenance drag she is?
If you want to bribe me food and beer works.
The weather is so nice. I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run.