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I know I`m in trouble when the voice in my head starts using my middle name
Im a leader not a follower... unless its a dark place then f*ck that your going first!
New camo condoms! She`ll never see you coming again.
Roses are red vilouts are blue your moms beautiful what happened to you!
It`s a shame that stupidity can`t be converted into a usable energy source.
I use awkward numerical range description anywhere between 13 and 4 times a day.
Happy National hear fireworks all day and night set off by Drunk People you wouldn`t trust with a Glo-Stick Day.
I`d publish my autobiography but it`s just a bunch of liquor stained pages filled with doodles, and rants about stupid people.
Here, take my hand. Now slap yourself with it.
I would like to learn one of those clicking languages from Africa because I get the feeling my knees are trying to tell me something.
The only time I listen to a woman giving directions is when I use my GPS.
How many times do I have to say "excuse me" before "get the f*ck out of my way" becomes acceptable?
Feeling a little sassy today...But then again, that`s everyday
The exam hall is the only place on the earth where everyone is desperate for teamwork..
I don`t drink to feel better about myself. I drink to feel better about being with you