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I`ve been building my own particle accelerator. Plan to create a boson particle. Explore the mysteries.....you know what? This is a lot of work. Think I`m just going to have a beer and play Call of Duty.
Just because I`m awake doesn`t mean I`m ready to do things
We all have that one friend who always gives the best relationship advice , but is still single.
I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean & people think I’m joking.
Roses are red, this much is true, Violets are purple, not f*cking blue
Wonder if Jesus gets screwed out of birthday presents just because his birthday is so close to Santas?
Mall kiosk employees are basically human pop up ads.
When you’re old, my kids will be in charge. I’m so, so sorry.
After four karate lessons, I can now break a two-inch board with my cast.
You`ve got to love yourself ... Just not in public places
Horoscope: Slightly fatter than you were yesterday
With so many things coming back in style, I can`t wait until morals and intelligence become a trend again.
If spiders ever come to the realization that people are terrified of them, we`re f*cked.
homework wont kill me, but why take the risk!
I like to start my day by taking a shower, having some coffee and going online for 14-16 hours.