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A world without women would be a pain in the a$$.
So a year ago today I asked a really beautiful friend out on a date and today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times.
I wish, just once, I could actually hit the pedestrian crossing the road slow with the "what`re gonna do, hit me" look on their face.
At what point in potty training do you give the child a toy smartphone?
It`s a beautiful day, think I`ll skip my meds and stir things up a bit.
I`m gaining weight for my role as "Before picture"
If your lawyer has a ponytail, you`re going to jail
They say `No news is good news,` but I think it just means I have a lazy paperboy.
Do you ever wish that you could just unmeet someone.
For the love of God, single people, stop looking for love or you`ll end up married.
Mom in poetic mood ....Asked me to express emptiness .... I showed her my wallet ........ n m cheek still burns .... :-p :-p
I don`t let my friends do stupid things... ALONE
I`d like to thanks all the girls for wearing yoga pants. It is the only reason why we`re not complaining about how cold this winter it
My neighbors listen to AC/DC at 6:00 every morning. Whether they like it or not...
You should never answer your phone during sex, particularly if it`s your wife calling.