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I got all my Christmas shopping done. Hope everyone likes bunny ears, ornamental grass, and discounted peeps.
The Bible is pretty accurate...Especially when thrown at close range.
I just got gas for $1.79... Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.
roses are red , violets are blue , I got five fingers and the 3rd one for you ;)
Sure, I can speak Spanish... "Margarita!"
You`re from my dreams... Or nightmares. I can`t decide which.
Why is it called "reading a book" and not paper view?
It`s too bad parallel lines never meet because they have so much in common.
Shouldn`t the Air and Space museum be empty?
Man: "You look nice today..." Woman: "Was I ugly yesterday?"
Driving isn`t even in the top 5 things I`m thinking about when I`m driving.
You know there was a time in my life where I just didn`t give a f#ck.....funny how it seems that much hasn`t changed from an hour ago!!
Why do they call it "Jew-ish"? Are they not Jew enough?
Ugh, stalkers are horrible. You`d think someone could`ve let me know I was out of toilet paper.
The awkward moment when someone say "I gotta use the restroom.... Never mind."