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Kids....because who doesn`t enjoy a fun game of "What the hell is that smell and whose room is it coming from?"
Live each day like you’re marked for deletion.
Women are always complaining that men are messy by leaving clothes layin around…..That’s because women take up all the closets
If a girls tongue being pierced really mattered, then I would have my palm pierced!
This liquid diet crap is a scam. I`ve been drinking beer since last Tuesday and I`m still fat.
Relax… We’re all crazy.. It’s not a competition.
I’d be much more interested in meeting people if I didn’t think most people were idiots.
I don`t plan anything as well as I plan which alcoholic beverage I`m going to consume once I leave work.
Billion Dollar Idea: An app that deletes your phone number from other people`s phones.
The kids left w/my parents for a week. I plan to run around the house for an hour yelling "woo hoo", but after that my schedule is wide open
I`ve been working with this alcohol free program for like six months and it`s really taken a toll on me ... I mean, I`m broke and as far as I`m concerned, they can buy their own alcohol.
Oh, so you are thinking about me? I am also thinking about myself.....
I eat my salad without dressing because who has time to put on clothes...
If you`re ever sad, just imagine how much worse it would be to be a tree that spent years and years growing up, only to end up as a Justin Bieber notebook
Let It Snow is my favorite song about people who don`t understand how weather works.