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in 2014 there were times when I annoyed you, disturbed you, irritated you and bugged the hell out of you. Today i wanna let you know that i planned to continue with it this year :-)
Tonight`s good mood is sponsored by ... Beer!!
Irish Handcuffs: Holding a beer in each hand.
If it wasn’t for caffeine I wouldn’t be a functioning member of society.
I`m just a man standing in front of a woman, who is standing in front of another man who is in front of another woman in line at Taco Bell.
I can sum up my life in three words: “just browsing, thanks.”
I ate a shepherd`s pie for lunch. He was pretty upset about it.
Me: Where can I find the milk? Her: Sir, this is a library. Me: *whispers* Sorry, where can I find the milk?
There’s nothing like having a long to-do list to make me feel like doing absolutely nothing.
I know I`ve had enough to drink when I have to concentrate to blink.
A week is just five days of wishing you had nothing to do followed by two days of wishing you had something to do
If you can read this, you`re not having sex either.
Opposites attract, that`s the trouble with being awesome
Sure, I`ll show up at your Halloween Party... I`ll be coming as the invisible man....
I don`t fear death... It happens to everyone. I just hope when I am dead and buried, I don`t vote Democrat.