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I wish you could order Karma like flowers and have it delivered.
And we all have that one friend who has more blonde moments than an actual blonde.
Yeah, you go ahead and climb that mountain "because it`s there", I am going to eat this Pizza "because it`s here"................................
If McDonald`s was smart they`d serve breakfast until 2pm on the weekends.
That "No alcohol beyond this point." sign might as well say "I bet you can´t chug that whole beer!"
WOW! This gym thing is a lot harder than it looked on Instagram.
Ever since I heard that women have one breast bigger than the other,it`s given me another reason to stare.
The only thing that makes me happy about the launch of a new model cell phone is that I can finally afford the previous model.
I ran into a dwarfs car this morning and he come up to me and said "I`m not happy!" And I said we`ll which one are you then
I like to walk around my house naked… Until my neighbors scream at me to go back inside
When children shy away, I say, "I don`t bite. Not hard anyway!" Then I laugh and bite them hard. They need to understand life`s not easy.
Is it wrong to ask someone with an eye patch "Was it all fun and games up to that point?"
Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.
I’ve taken off my pants in most malls that I’ve been to.
I had a bit of a lazy day sitting in my underwear looking for jobs online. My boss was furious.