Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Attention fuels immaturity
Looking back.. I think I preferred you when I didn`t know you...
RUN? I thought you said Rum. I quit.
If you have attention deficit disorder, throwing boomerangs isn`t for you.
Never cry over spilt milk. It could`ve been whiskey.
That awkward moment when you finally realize what your rice krispies are saying to you.
I’ve never had angry sex. I’m always happy and quite surprised that it is actually happening.
Updating my status in the car. Don’t worry, I’m in the passenger seat. Which makes it harder to drive, but fools the cops.
Sorry I didn`t answer when you called, I had 6 Peeps in my mouth
Maybe America will believe in global warming if we make it a Snapple Fact.
There`s no way to gracefully remove a jacket while wearing a seatbelt...
Do whatever you want, and if it`s something you`re going to regret in the morning, sleep late.
I took a sexual harassment course this afternoon ....I think I`m gonna be pretty good at it.
My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Walmart.
I just found my Christmas Spirit.... It`s been in aisle 6 at this liquor store the whole time!