Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Seems like my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair.
Every woman is beautiful in her own unique way. Sometimes it just takes the right amount of alcohol to see it.
What is the difference between a trapeze artist and a supermodel?. The trapeze artist has a cunning stunt.
Not every flower can say love, but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus did. Not every dummy can read, but look at you go...
I`ll never understand why single women waste so much time on dating websites when there are so many eligible bachelors right here in this adult bookstore.
I’m classically trained in the art of Nintendo.
Picking and choosing who to say happy birthday to since 2006, thanks Facebook!
Lazy Fact #69302246777573 - You were too lazy to read that number.
Because of tanning beds, 1000 years from now archaeologists will think we used to fry people as punishment.
I guess “Trying to be” isn’t really the answer the doctor was looking for when he asked if I was sexually active.
I have come to the conclusion that dryer lint is the cremated remains of all my missing socks.
When I was a child, I wanted to be a surgeon. But apparently I was too young
It was so cold today the local flasher was caught "describing" himself to women.
Understanding women number 476,395: Women like to talk about their feelings.
Just tore the tag off my mattress and there’s nothing the feds can do about it. MUAHAHAHAHA!!!