Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Super Bowl Sunday, the one day of the year that DVR`s are used to watch commercials, instead of skip them!
I’m not a marketing expert. But if I was selling milk, the cartons would be boob shaped.
When it comes to bug protection, you just can`t beat "OFF!".
Cop: This is a ticket for drunk and disorderly behavior. Me: Can I have another? I`d love to bring a guest.
I`m pretty sure if someone broke into my house, my dog would just show them how much he likes to lick his balls
When does paying taxes get shut down? Asking for everyone with a job.
There’s a good reason I’m up this late: because I have to wake up really early.
Raise your hand if you have already spent your daylight savings
I am now convinced that the homeless people have all of the shopping carts that do not have the wobbly wheels.
If I`ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it`s that everyone speaks English after they die.
I hate people who take drugs......like the police.
I don`t have dirty mind ...I just hav a sexy imagination. ..
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you... I would start thinking about you.
If there is such thing as a fake noodle, does that make it an impasta?
I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.