Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My hair only looks good on days when no one important sees it.
Marriage. When dating goes too far.
superbowl: the only time I actually look forward to watching commericals.
NEWS FLASH: Man arrested for having sex with a tree.....Police confirm he had wood!!!
is battling with eyelids
I hate in video games how penguins always use their ability to slide on their stomachs for evil
If you need time alone, announce that it`s time to clean the house.
We have so much in common. You want to travel and I want you to go.
My kids are always accusing me of having a "favorite child" which is ridiculous because I don`t really like any of them.
People go to the bar hoping for two things ... to get hammered or to get nailed.
I really worry about which selfie my family would put on the news if I ever went missing.
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember all the things I was suppose to do.
Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol
Alcohol doesn`t get people drunk, people get people drunk. Drunk people get other drunk people extra drunk.
The best thing about telepathy is.. I know, right!