Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you`re going to be a d!ck.. At least be a big one.
Imagine how frustrating it would be if Tic-Tacs were individually wrapped
I hate when my girlfriend accuses me of something I didn`t think she knew about.
Son to mom: why should I sweep the floor? Mom to son: do you want to be an Olympic Curl champion?
People who are offended by offensive things offend me.
That annoying feeling when you finally downloaded the movie you wanted to watch and BOOM!... It`s in French. #F**kYouFrance
It’s a strange moment, when you realize that the sound of nature is the sound of millions of animals, birds, and insects desperately trying to get laid.
I`m not sure if this woman in the Starbucks line ahead of me is ordering a drink or casting a spell.
*uses Ouija board* NEW PHONE WHO DIS
I always feel a little kinky whenever the lady at Starbucks asks me if I’d like whipped cream on it.
If being lazy paid, damn dude I must be a billionaire.
Monday: A terrible way to spend 1/7 of your life.
Take time to reflect upon your day. Think of all the blessings you received, and everything you may be called to testify about :)))
And the day after Christmas has revealed that the holiday is just an elaborate ruse to get you home to fix your parents computer problems.
I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at a floor and think, "I`d so tap that."