Daily Silly Status

Email: 8 character min, including 1 upper, 1 lower, 1 number, 1 special character. ATM card: 4 numbers

April 1st is the absolute worst day to have a heart attack.

And we all have that one friend who has more blonde moments than an actual blonde.

How to make a Vodka Christmas cake. . (Made mine this morning!!!!) 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1......bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit. Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be... sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to

I was drivin home tonight and was singin away and seen a tree ahead and swerved to miss it and realized it was my air freshener hangin from my rear view mirror!!!! CLOSE CALL!!!

I can come up with plenty of ways to do nothing.

Christmas is all about getting your entire dysfunctional family under one roof, hoping the cops don`t get called and nobody gets arrested.

Sometimes I run toward people & expect them to know that I want them to do the Dirty Dancing lift but they never know and I slam into them.

When someone says I love you over the phone and you don`t feel the same, just say `I love youtube` but say it really fast!

All my friends are getting married and having kids or getting really good at video games.

Relationships always start out as "You`re smart and funny." and end up as "You think you know everything and it`s all a joke to you!"

I bet my mom is looking down on me right now, wherever she is. She`s not dead, just very condescending.

Love your neighbor. But don`t get caught.

I may look calm, but in my head I´ve punched you in the face 3 times already!

I eat my salad without dressing because who has time to put on clothes...