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At least my motivation gets to sleep in.
Don`t you just hate it when people say stuff in thier status that you really didn`t want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poop. Talk to ya later.
Picking and choosing who to say happy birthday to since 2006, thanks Facebook!
If you speak too slowly, I will complete all your sentences in my mind in ways that makes your story much more interesting
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. “Alright, get in the basket”
Lets not get carried away it`s not like McDonalds shutdown
When hipsters replaced hippies, we lost free love and drugs and got skinny jeans. Worst. Trade. Ever.
When two people love each other deeply, nothing is impossible. Except deciding on where to eat.
Step 1: remove food from packaging Step 2: dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time
Thank you for showing me your Facebook wedding album. Now if you have time, here is a slideshow of my top 36 scores in Mario Kart
Game of Thrones is exciting, but I think it`s important to remember that these people are fighting over a chair
I know u r but what am I ?
Suddenly my prison fantasy football league just got real.
Don`t judge a person for drinking; judge a person for not drinking. Those f*ckers are up to something.
"Don`t let a hot date turn into a due date."--my father`s actual sex talk with me when I was 13.