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I wish common sense was more common.
Give a kid a Pop Tart and they eat for a day. Teach a kid how to make a Pop Tart and you sleep in all summer
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Was going to watch the presidential inauguration today, but found something more interesting on a different channel. Watched "How cow farts affect the ozone layer" on The Science channel.
The Walking Dead reminds you that other people would still be your biggest problem even if most of them died.
My grandma told me her joints are getting weaker, so I told her to roll them tighter.
What is an Amish girls favourite fantasy? Two Mennonite
When I was a kid, I told my parents I was going to make something of myself. I think they are getting impatient.
If tomatoes are classed as a fruit, then doesnt that mean that ketchup is technically a smoothie? ... hmmm
Divorce is what happens when two people win an argument.
Just read someones status, "Today is the frist day of your life," Thats just stupid, mine was over 45 years ago.. If it was the frist day of your life you wouldn`t be able to read it... Dummy
I wish life had a “rewind-the-weekend” button.
Releasing a long silent fart as I walk through first class on the way to my economy seat is definitely my favorite part of boarding an aircraft.
If your friends don’t make fun of you, they’re not your true friends.
I`m trying to give up sexual innuendos. But it`s hard........so hard......