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I don’t have a problem with caffeine.I have a problem without caffeine.
We live in an era of smart phones and stupid people.
No matter what the product, a good way to throw off an aggressive salesman is to interrupt him and ask, “Yes, but does it work on cats?”
It`s called PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
OK. If you`re so smart, what`s the answer to this question?
If you scream in a library, people just look at you funny. If you scream on an airplane, everyone joins in.
I`m always on the verge of running three miles, or drinking a bottle of Vodka
Government shutdown day 8: Electricity still works. Water is still running. No cool gangs to join yet. Worst apocalypse ever.
Haters gunna hate,potatoes gunna patate!!
Relationships always start out as "You`re smart and funny." and end up as "You think you know everything and it`s all a joke to you!"
A Slinky is a great way to teach young children that it`s fun to push things down the stairs.
bitches want what they cant have..or thats what I keep telling myself
Has anyone else ever noticed that the word therapist spells, "the rapist," when split into 2 words?
It`s weird how many people at my office are named "Hey."
They say 1 minute of kissing burns 26 calories. No wonder sluts are so damn skinny.