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The awkward moment when you’re running and your boobs are bouncing …. and you’re a guy.
Goodnight friends, strangers, pervs, weirdos and a$$holes, and anybody else I left out.
Dog Found: Now we are bros, so he`s staying. Don`t call, don`t make it weird.
Just had workplace violence training. It`s like HR doesn`t even care about the first rule of fight club.
My wife was out of town, so I had to run the morning routine by myself today. I learned a lot. For example, apparently I have two kids.
It’s almost 2015, I expect a toaster that pops the bread up in a less terrifying way.
Yes I admit I am a freak. Now, grab some whip cream, some feathers, handcuffs, blindfold, a whip and follow me into the kitchen.
Game of Thrones is exciting, but I think it`s important to remember that these people are fighting over a chair
I`m a fantastic secret-keeper because, deep down, I really don`t care enough to actually talk about it to anyone else.
my imaginary friend thinks ur crazy? an shes hot!
Hate it when I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and it’s not even in there.
My girlfriend left the lights on, on her Smart Car last night. This morning I had to jump start it with my Android.
Facebook is not all about likes and shares. . . Like and share if you agree.
I`ll bet whoever said "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" had just farted
When 12 year old girls call each other honey and sweet heart...