Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Violently swerving your car will not throw a spider off the window. Doesn`t work like it does with humans. Just in case you need to know.
Don`t half a$$ anything. F*ck it up all the way.
I am not acting childish and you`re just a big doody-head.
Do you ever go on youtube just to watch a music video then 5 hours later you find yourself watching a tutorial on how to talk to a giraffe?
Now that Microsoft`s Steve Ballmer has bought the Clippers, I wonder if he will release a new version every few years that we all hate.
What do sleeping and sex have in common? I`m not getting nearly enough of either.
Find a penny pick it up and all day long you`ll have good luck. Or some kind of virus because pennies are dirty and gross.
My New Year’s resolution is to save enough to buy a Velcro wall ... I plan on sticking to it.
Over the weekend I pulled a muscle getting off the couch to fetch more Doritos.
Real friends show me their boobs
How strict is the "I licked it, it`s mine" policy? There`s some things I`ve licked that I don`t want.
Relationship Tip for men: When a woman says, "Correct me if I`m wrong but...."Don`t do it!! It`s a trap!! DO NOT, I repeat, do not correct that woman!!!
Who says I can`t relate to today`s youth? I overheard a teenager saying he loved "riding on E" and I was like "I totally get it, gas is so damn expensive".
A penny for your thoughts, Five bucks if they’re naughty.
If you’re a douchebag, it’s so easy to find the right hat.