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I just love having sex with you...Next time I hope you are there with me.
Apparently getting injured while in the KISS Army doesn`t make you eligible for V.A. benefits.
Ahhhh, bad credit…the best identity theft protection.
I liked you until you started ignoring me and then I loved you. -Girls ---- Bfanch
Whenever someone ends their status with "LOL" I know it`s a repost, cuz...who the hell laughs at their own statuses? LMAO!
People who get out of the car and actually have a sit down meal inside McDonald`s scare me.
As a nation, we may be spending our children`s money, but at my house, it`s the other way around.
The only time I listen to a woman giving directions is when I use my GPS.
The first 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest....
Spiderman is just another guy who ends up with sticky hands and covered in white stuff after being on the web.
Without coffee, I’m just a really tall 2 year old.
Found a note on my door today that said ”You’re Awesome!” ... Yes, I wrote it yesturday. But still, the truth is the truth.
People without kids: I`ll never yell at my kids ... People with kids: I DONT KNOW WHY SOMEONE SPIT THEIR GUM ON THE ROAD, JUST WALK!
Just read someones status, "Today is the frist day of your life," Thats just stupid, mine was over 45 years ago.. If it was the frist day of your life you wouldn`t be able to read it... Dummy
Why do people freak out about dolphins getting caugh in tuna nets? What about the tuna?