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Olympic Mens Ice Hockey USA vs Canada. Loser keeps Justin Bieber.
PMS is no joke, you guys. I just ate like three bags of Reese`s Pieces. Oh, and my wife`s really being a bitch.
Carrots are a great thing to eat when you are hungry and want to stay that way.
Just once Iād like to learn something the easy way.
Is that a selfie or did you just photobomb a picture of your filthy bathroom?
My left buttcheek fell asleep. I`m Half-assing everything I do for the next ten minutes.
I think I have a serious problem---Today I was reading the newspaper and found myself looking for the "Like" button.
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.
We should`ve let the guy who named oranges keep naming other stuff.
Minnesota is my favorite state that sounds like it`s a small soft drink.
I have an amazing psychic ability to find objects just before people lose them. Unfortunately, the police call it theft.
My mom just sent me a friend request on Facebook! Finally I can use that "I`m not your friend I`m your mother" speech to my advantage.
Which one of you is Moderation? I keep getting told we need to drink together.
Just found my TV remote and a newspaper in my fridge. It`s pretty awesome that society lets me live by myself.
I think the saying "every man for himself" was made up by women tired of making sandwiches