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All I`m saying is if guys were meant to make them, they`d be call sandWIZARDS.
I wish I could talk to donkeys so I could be known as the ass whisperer.
Do you know who invented the Knock Knock joke? I don`t know either, but whoever did should get a no bell prize.
I`m at the age where I need at least 3 weeks advance notice before doing anything spontaneous
Apparently it was a bad idea to ask Siri, "What do women want?" She`s been talking for the last 2 days and doesn`t seem ready to shut up anytime soon.
I`m confused as to whether I`m supposed to leap or hump today.
Jehovah`s witnesses tell the worst knock, knock jokes
Yes I am a bad boy ... But your the one that`s going to get spanked.
Sometimes not being in control is the most awesome feeling in the world.
I hate it when I think I`m buying ORGANIC vegetables but when I get home I discover they`re just REGULAR donuts...
I wish I loved anything as much as rappers love female dogs and gardening tools.
You`re the reason I wake up everyday. Just kidding I have a job.
You never really know if you`re over someone until you`re in the car and they`re in the crosswalk.
Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.
My friend thinks he`s so smart. He said onions are the only food that can make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.