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Never, ever ask a woman if she`s pregnant unless you see an actual baby being born. Even then, act surprised.
i just accidentally used AOL online, im betting the workers there are celebrating and think they have a chance in the future. lol
"This is the ride that killed Jimmy." - me in a long line, loudly, at amusement parks
Yes, milk from cows tastes nice. But to the person that first found that out...you have issues bro
I hate it when 18 wheelers blow their horns while Im driving, that sh*t wakes me up!
It´s Friday!! yea! Oh sorry, I was just practicing.
Day 1-365: I am thankful for Veterans.
The only exercise I`ve done this month is running out of money
HR have advised that I’m not allowed to ask my chubby co-workers if they ate my missing stapler.
Judging by the size of these chicken fingers, that chicken had to be somewhere between 7` to 10` tall.
Two of the greatest mysteries of the universe: 1) Why are we here? 2) How come Chinese restaurants don`t serve breakfast?
If someone doesn`t respond to your text within 5 minutes, they obviously don`t love you anymore. Probably never did, react accordingly.
Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they "boldly go where no one has gone before" they always end up meeting someone?
Browsing the internet when bored is like the virtual version of checking the refrigerator...
People who say you can´t buy happiness just don´t know where to shop.