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*wants to travel the world but has like 3 dollars*
Smelling another person should be a choice. Just sayin’
I beat my chess opponent in less than five moves with the chair I was sitting on!
Sometimes I think these Kardashians are just doing stuff for the attention.
I was raised on the streets is more manly than saying I grew up watching Sesame Street.
In Starbucks a customer went sh*t house rat crazy when they got a double shot of espresso instead of the triple shot they ordered ... I`m fine now.
Life is about perspective like the sinking of the Titanic was a miracle for the lobsters in the ships kitchen
You`re not unlucky. Bad things happen to you because you`re a dumba$$.
You can tell how old someone is by what part of the chex mix is their favorite.
Going to Target. See you in about two hundred bucks...
I just wish the automatic paper towel dispensers were half as sensitive as the automatic flushers.
My Wife does this cute thing where she says that "actions speak louder than words" and then gets pissed at me for just nodding.
There is a special place in Hell for people who stop at yellow lights.
I feel that being a smarta$$ is my duty. The pay sucks, but the work is very rewarding.
Smelling another person should be a choice.