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Are nap dates a thing? Because that`s something I can work with...
According to national reports, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low...Well, sure, it`s hard to steal a car when the owner`s living in it...
MTV canceled Teen Mom, so it`s like they had those babies for nothing.
Today is Friday the 13th. Try not to be a teenage girl in her underwear at night at a deserted summer camp today.
Change is hard. Seriously, have you ever bit a nickel?
Answer your phone, "come in" just to mess with people once in a while. Count how many seconds it takes for them to respond.
I don`t think boredom gets enough blame for the trouble it causes.
Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair. Made of steel. Twice. From Hulk. On adrenaline rush.
Get ahead of myself. Sometimes I
"Thank God!!! They are finally taking these damn rubber bands off." -The last thing a lobster thinks.
The hardest job in the world must be working in a bubble wrap factory. Can you imagine the self control that is required?
Redneck WORD OF THE DAY: WATER My girlfriend gets mad and I don`t even know water problem is!
Thanks to my mom, I put my name on all of my underwear so they`re easier to spot when I go through the bar`s lost and found box.
You win some, you lose some...unless you`re me, then you win them all.
It would be so cool to be able to see an album of all the pictures you’ve accidentally photobombed in public.