Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It`s like Facebook in real life.
For all the taxes they take out of my paycheck they should at least send me a picture of the broke ass family I support to hang on my fridge.
Turns out Xenophobia is not `A fear of Warrior Princesses`
You do realize everyone can see your status right?
I had to leave the bowling alley right in the middle of the game. I didn`t have time to spare.
"Teeter Totter" is the silliest name for toddler catapults.
Any pencil can be a number two pencil if you eat it.
Playing dead on the couch all day in case a bear attacks. That`s not lazy, that`s proactive.
Your so lazy you should have a Life Alert bracelet that says I`m Just Napping.
The human body can survive three weeks without food, three days without water but only three hours without wifi.
Funny how the closer I get to the bar the friendlier I become.
Nicknames are way more fun when people don’t know they have them.
I don’t want to think I’m getting old or anything, but all the noises I used to make during sex, I now make getting out of bed.
Half of my life has been spent hoping people don’t see me.
Pizza is like sex, when it is good it`s very good, When it`s bad...it`s still pretty good.