Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sure I have my doubts, but Bigfoot doesn’t have any pictures of me either.
I should run for political office just to see what kind of scandalous dirt they dig up. It would be nice to piece together my twenties.
I am a very tolerant person until you think differently than me. Then I act like a spoiled little brat.
You can always tell a lot from that first kiss, especially when they say things like "please stop" and "who are you?"
Feeling stressed out? Make a nice cup of hot tea and then spill it in the lap of whoever`s bugging you.
Minnesota is my favorite state that sounds like it`s a small soft drink.
If God is a woman then how do you explain: 1) Spiders 2) Shoes you can`t afford 3) Periods 4) Men
When I see a tire swing swaying gently in the breeze, I like to believe its daydreaming about life on the open road.
If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot.
I need a "previously on your life" recap for the things I didn`t pay attention to.
Is Nudeism a religion?
There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter, like watching TV and having a beer.
The more I know, the more I forget! The more I forget the less I know! The less I know, the less I forget! The less I forget, the more I know!!!
I love in horror movies how the person yells out "hello?!" as if the killer is gonna say "yeah I´m in the kitchen, want a sandwich?"
Burglars must love "My Family Stickers". They can wait in front of someone`s house, count the people that leave, and know if they have a dog or not...