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If a man speaks at sea where no women can hear, is he still wrong?
They say in the near future computers will become more intelligent than people, really, the near future? I walk down the street and see girls who struggle with the difference between orange and tanned, guys who have no idea how a belt works, and all of them with less language skills then the average trained chimp. Computers? Hell I’ve got an alarm clock that’s smarter than most of them right now.
Have you noticed that tire stores never hang big banners that say "Blowout Sale"?
The most common crossfit injury is a black eye from talking about it too much.
Forecast for today: Unproductive with a chance of a late drinking session.
Just quit my job so I can spend more quality time giving out candy crush extra lives.
I`m selling my browser history on eBay before the government does.
Use Angie`s List if you want a plumber to come over. Use Craigslist if you want that plumber to come over with no pants.
I like it here because not only do I get to air out my dirty laundry, I get to see yours too.
I`ve been hiding from exercise ... I`m in the fitness protection program.
I plan on leaving all my money to the campaign against illiteracy. ...They can`t read this right? lol
Save water, shower together.
Donald Duck, saying screw you to pants since 1934.
It’s sad how Wile E. Coyote is remembered for his crappy ACME gadgets, and not for his brilliantly realistic paintings of tunnels.
Just been watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury...but I should be ok in a couple days.