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This rough sex would have been a lot better if I wasn`t alone.
Happy Hallogivemas!!!!!! It`s the time of year when the stores sell Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas stuff all on ONE aisle!
Fellas.....the girl on the flyer is never at the club
Success is 1% inspiration, 98% perspiration and 2% attention to detail.
I`m growing a mullet to test our friendship.
I need to adjust the brightness settings for my future.
I give movies with 2 stars a 5 on Netflix because if I sat through this piece of sh!t, I want you to as well.
Here’s a joke for all you mind readers out there…
If the breakfast club took place now, all those kids would just be silently texting about their sh!tty Saturday & never make friends w/ each other.
Good friends don’t let you do dumb things… alone.
The reason why women will never be the ones to propose is because as soon as she gets on her knees, he will start unzipping his pants
"That`s too much bacon." -Nobody ever
I don’t know who or what is doing it, but one day I will find the thing that continues to steal one sock and destroy it.
24 astronauts were born in Ohio.....What is it about that state that makes people want to flee the Earth?
Wal-Mart: Because going to Target requires a shower.