Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
One thing`s for sure when I shower with my boyfriend. My titties are spotless!!
The best thing about telepathy is…I know, right?
The problem with trouble is that it always starts out as fun.
"Why haven`t you been answering my pigeons?" -- Girlfriends in the 17th century probably
only 9530 days until retirement.
I think ugly people have children just to prove to everyone they had sex.
Dear sneeze, If you`re gonna happen, happen. Don`t put a stupid look on my face and leave
All I’ve ever wanted from life was to be a disturbance in the force.
Ten seconds of drug commercials are spent telling you what the drug is for and the rest is spent basically daring you to take it.
I`ve got my wise-ass in my smartypants so I`m ready for anything!
Nothing good goes into a microwave at 2:00am.
If someone found a legit way to make penises bigger, no one would believe them.
Meaningless statistics are up 17% today
Does running out of money count as exercise?
every woman iz beautuful n her unique way, smtimz it needs sm amount of alcohol to see with