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I would like to remind everyone it`s not the size of the boat... Or the motion of the ocean, but the whether the boat is able to stay in port until all passangers have gotten off.
96% of my life is spent trying to figure out when I can get my next nap in.
My parents say its their house, but when its time to clean it magically becomes my house too.
I can only please one person a day...and today is not your day!
When cleaning my house: 1% Cleaning 30% Complaining 69% Playing with stuffs that I just found
Car next to me in the liquor store parking lot has a family sticker. She has seven kids! ... I better get in there quick! She`s gonna buy it all.
I keep my landline active because I know sooner or later Trinity or Morpheus will contact me.
If I`m not in bed by 11PM, then I go home.
If you`re in a hole, stop digging...
The difference between a straight girl and a lesbian is about four or five drinks.
If any of you have gotten any weird texts from me recently, its because my phone is working fine and I`m just trying to make you feel uncomfortable.
I`ve decided to take some time off Facebook so I can focus on work and, ok, I`m back
You`re always ahead of schedule when it comes to disappointing me.
Crossfit is the healthiest way to get rid of your friends.
I miss the good old days..when you could slam the phone down.!!