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"You`ve got a friend in me." - Cannibals, probably
This cat poop tastes like I`m about to get yelled at -Dogs
My sex tape would just be called Home Alone.
I don`t have to run faster than the lion, I just have to run faster than you.
Tony Romo tried to throw his helmet down in frustration but it was intercepted and returned for a touchdown
would a fly without wings be called a walk?
I`m not mental, other wise the rubber duckies would have told me by now...
Coffee: So I can do nothing with more energy.
Keep your friends close and your fat friends closer, because snacks.
Hope you get down and funky on this the day of your birth!!
I’m Not Arguing. I’m Simply Explaining Why I’m Right.
I find if you sprinkle some bacon bits on a salad, but don’t actually add any salad, then its a pretty good salad.
I know my limits. I don’t pay any attention to them, but I know them.
New rule: advertisements can no longer use adjectives. I`ll decide what is "fresh" and "natural" and "like a real girl" thank you very much.
There is no such thing as something looking "Too good to eat"