Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

is cuddling up with a good book and a cup of tea. Ah, who am I kidding... IΒ΄m looking at Hustler and having a beer.
it`s not that I`m bad at remembering names, I`m just awesome at forgetting them.
People who live in glass houses should not throw orgies
The gym is like church to some people. No matter what they do all week, they think they can erase it with one visit.
Forecast for today: Unproductive with a chance of a late drinking session.
can be sympathetic, empathetic, compassionate, welcoming, loyal, trust-worthy, forgiving, understanding, and giving. But not to today!
Bless me Father for I hit send.
Christmas spirit? I`m proud to say I`ve got plenty of that. I`ve got rum, whiskey, gin, brandy, vodka and tequila.
I`m giving up abbreviations for Lent. Laugh Out Loud
Wow, I thought β€œflash mob” meant something completely different. Can someone come bail me out?
I`d care more about your feelings if they came with a toy and chicken nuggets.
People are obsessed with this storm but in a couple months no one will talk about it anymore, which is why they named it after the movie Juno.
Best part of living alone...clothing optional ;)
My wife must have some big surprise vacation planned. She left a note by the bed telling me I had until tomorrow to have my bags packed.
One thing the porn industry has taught me is that this summer I defiantly need to get a job as a poolboy.