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Two girls riding their bikes on a cobble stone road. 1st girl: I never came this way before. 2nd girl: Me neither. It must be the cobble stones.
Laziness: the habit of resting before you get tired.
Tip to get out of jury duty: Begin every answer with “According to the prophecy.”
I`m curious: Do girls shake the gasoline nozzle when they`re taking it out of their cars too?
That awkward moment when a homeless person walks up to you at a Coinstar machine.
I`m getting sick of these porn sites listing my videos as "amateur".
I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I`m not the only one asking google stupid questions.
Since 4th of July falls on a Wednesday do we drink the weekend before? the weekend after? That Wednesday? The entire week? The entire month? The entire year?
I can’t afford Disney World so we go to the biggest hill on my street and my kids wait an hour before I roll them down in my office chair.
Did anyone else go into a furious, violent rage when they found out that George Lucas filmed most of Star Wars here on Earth?
If you ever think someone’s too cute to talk to just remember that they poop too.
Nothing is impossible.. Never Give Up.. I know a guy that once actually guessed correctly why his girlfriend was mad at him.. :|
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. So I’m off to find a bar with a mirror.
2015 and I still can`t believe it`s not butter!
No matter how stupid you feel, remember, Little Red Riding Hood couldn`t figure out a talking wolf in drag wasn`t her grandmother.