Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The first rule of selfie club should be to clean your room.
If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich?
The Internet makes things so convenient. Before it existed, if you wanted to order a DVD online, you had to invent the Internet.
If the TV show "Cops" has taught me anything, it`s to stay away from people with blurry faces....... they always seem to attract trouble.......
Upside to hurricanes... you might get a free boat delivered to your front yard.
pumpkin for sale, slightly used
Guess what I saw today? Everything I looked at.
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
It`s gonna be hotter than Billy Ray Cyrus after watching his daughters performance on the VMA`s tomorrow!
I wasn`t that drunk! "Bro, you went to the train station, smashed yourself against the wall, while yelling, Hogwarts here I come!"
My motto is "Never say never." Which makes it difficult to tell people my motto...
With all the botched executions lately, it has been suggested that we bring back the guillotine. But if we do that I`m sure heads will roll.
Don`t fall in love, learn how to ruin your life all by yourself.
Struggling to get your wife`s attention?.....just sit down and look comfortable.
Me: You`re the prettiest girl I`ve ever seen. Her: You just want to have sex with me. Me: And you`re smart too, I like that.