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I don`t play sports, the only sport I play is shopping. But there`s a lot of walking involved in that. Running sometimes if there`s a sale.
I just don’t want to look back and think “I could’ve eaten that.”
How do people rap? I can’t even talk without messing it up.
Stress from children can take 10 yrs off your life Drinking alcohol from stress can take another 10 yrs Based on my math, I died 5 yrs ago
$5.99 Trojan condoms or $19.99 Huggies diapers. Choose wisely...
Weird that we don`t see more pants on fire
I work out by ordering a small drink at Burger King, then get up 100 times to refill it.
Why do we only crave what`s bad for us? Alcohol, deep fried food, cake... You never hear anyone say "I`d kill for some salad."
Nothing says I have faith in God like the bullet proof glass on the Pope`s car.
A Slinky is a great way to teach young children that it`s fun to push things down the stairs.
I read an article the other day that said if you drink every day you are an alcoholic. Thank God I only drink every night.
I`m convinced that homeless people have all the shopping carts with 4 good wheels.
When I was a kid I slept with a nightlight... to keep away monsters who were scared of small, low wattage light bulbs.
You don`t have to drink to have fun... Just have fun drinking!
If Jesus was the son of Mary and he was the Lamb of God, Does that mean Mary had a Little Lamb?