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You never know a person until you walk in their shoes... or until you check their browser history.
FYI: The signs that say "Falling Rocks"....I tried it.....it doesn`t.
Girl: I am not having having s@x with guys at the moment. Boy:I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue
If you feel down because you had a bad day! Chin up! Tomorrow is another day and the worst has yet to come!
Life is like toilet paper....either you`re on a roll....or you`re taking sh*t from some asshole
On average I spend $75 a year to watch bananas turn brown.
Wanna come over for pizza and sex? I`m just kidding ... there`s no pizza.
Some of us are basically unpaid Facebook interns.
Porn Spoiler.......The plumber doesn`t fix the leak in the kitchen sink...
I should go to sleep but the Internet needs me.
Dear Customer Service: First of all, you should know that I´m typing this with my middle finger.
It`s hard to be a good person when kids fit so perfectly into trash cans.
First thing I do when I realize I’m lost…turn the radio down.
That awkward moment when you can’t tell if it’s a Halloween costume or their regular clothes…
I’m over the 30-day ab challenge ... Is there a 30-day nap challenge I can take on?