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Remember years ago when we didn`t have facebook and we had to take pictures of our food and get the film developed at the chemist get all your friends round your house and show them what you have been eating ...the good old days
I should`ve married myself. I`ve never said no to sex. Not once. Not one single time ever.
My phone just changed, `calendar` to `cake radar` and now I really wish I had that.
I like to walk around the house naked. Until the cops chase me back inside.
I’d get a lot more sleep if I didn’t insist on reading the entire internet every night.
Just knowing that I have successfully pissed you off again makes my day.
I`m getting worried about this Ebola virus. I mean, I`ve got Norton but...
They say that money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.
Please tell me I’m not the only one who opens up their Hershey Kisses ever so gently so that the foil doesn’t tear.
90% of adulthood is just deleting emails.
It`s not that I CAN`T be good, it`s that I`m SOOOOO much better at being BAD!!!
Cookies and porn are always better when they`re homemade!
I don`t go on Facebook much so Dave, if you`re seeing this, thanks for the invite to your 2007 New Year`s party, hope you had fun dude.
I`d rather be someone`s shot of whiskey than everyone`s cup of tea.
Dear wind, what has my hair ever done to you?