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If doing things was as easy as thinking about doing things I’d get a lot more done.
my wish for tonight is for the person reading this status to have a Good Night!
I`d rather run into the four horsemen of the apocalypse than a group of women out on a "girls` night."
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them? Why aren`t we helping to find them?
You only live once.......Unless someone has a defribrilator
Normal trees probably look at Christmas trees all dolled up and think .. "Whore"
I only accept apologies in cash.
Why can`t the ice cream man just get a freakin liquor license already
Trying to achieve the perfect erection. How hard could it be?
Im afraid to go outside or even sit next to a window during an lightening storm. Im afraid that I`ll get zapped! I`m scared that God is gonna get me!!!
I`d kill for a microwave that plays Europe`s “The Final Countdown” during the last 30 seconds.
If I didn`t drink, how would everyone know how much I love them at 2am?
You would think with all the ice water laying all over the world, it would be a lot cooler...
The opposite of "tying the knot" is "no strings attached"
I have a condition that renders me unable to go on a diet… I get hungry.