Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It’s proving very difficult to find a shop selling “Left Guard” for my other armpit…
You only live once.......Unless someone has a defribrilator
Fellas; There’s no heterosexual way of taking a selfie.
I don`t hit the "Like" button on my own statuses because I am self-centered, it`s just that I amaze myself sometimes and I want to show my appreciation!!!!!!
I’m a lonely Status. I wish more people liked me.
I didn’t scream out someone else’s name during sex. I was thinking of baby names in case you get pregnant…
My screensaver is a screenshot of a bunch of spreadsheets so my boss doesn’t notice when I haven’t moved my mouse in an hour.
I think instead of doing laundry I`m just going to buy a second hamper...
If anyone is interested I`ll be signing books tomorrow at Barnes & Noble from 6:00pm until I get escorted out by security.
You know who your true friends are when they call you at 3AM just to tell you they love you and that their drunk...
Whenever I see a woman breastfeeding in public, my first reaction is to get in line.
Plastic surgeons are the only people that actually encourage you to pick your nose.
I sneak alcohol into work because I`m a problem solver.
If Wal-Mart ends up selling mortgages, the trailer market will explode.
They say money doesn`t bring you happiness.... I say....neither does being broke....