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Ya Know, if I was Jessie`s Girl. I would of dumped Jessie for Rick Springfield!!
I forgot to make a resolution, so I`m pretty much going to just write out everything I did last night and add the word "stop" to the beginning.
I like pressing F5. It`s so refreshing.
I never said I was better than everyone else, just better than you.
He said the spark between us was gone..so I tasered him..... Ill ask him again when he wakes up
I grew up in a town where the population never changed… Every time a girl got pregnant, a guy left town
I`m glad the Dentist calls me the day before to remind me to cancel my appointment.
Last night I was drunk and asked a cat if it could talk. It said, “Me? How?”
I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I`m not the only one asking google stupid questions.
I can`t wait for Taylor Swift to break up with a black guy, so she can write a rap album!
I don’t love being single but I do love being happy.
Adam Levine beating me out for sexiest man contest is complete bullsh*t.
My New Year`s resolution is to help all my friends gain ten pounds so I look skinnier.
Sleep is just a symptom of caffeine deprivation.
Sorry I drunk dialed you at 10am.