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Two interesting facts for you: 1) Some pine cones look like poop. 2) I`m never kicking anything wearing flip flops again.
facebook cuz am too old to have imaginery friends
I`m more confused than a valet parking attendant at a Mary Kay convention.
Fellas.....the girl on the flyer is never at the club
As long as there is an open textbook in front of you, nobody will question what you are doing on your laptop.
"Have you been drinking . sir?" asks the policeman. "Go Pikachu! Thunderbolt!" "Sir, did you just throw a hamster at my head?"
Helped my kid pick out a "famous past explorer" for a class assignment. Hope no one else in her class picks Internet Explorer 6.
The bright side of getting attacked by a Cyclops is only having to use half the pepper spray.
When everything is coming your way ... You`re in the wrong lane.
"If your father asks you to pick up 5 large bags of ice, the best place to put them is in the backyard in direct sun" ~ My son apparently
When someone walks away from me shaking their head, I totally agree.
Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of sh!t going on?
Describe yourself in 3 words". "Not good at following instructions"
Something about summertime brings out the beer guzzling Homer Simpson in me.
There is nothing like sitting naked in a beanbag chair eating Cheetos. I hope they let me back in Walmart.