Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I try to avoid things that make me look fat, like scales, mirrors and photographs!
Christmas is just like any other day in the workplace, you work your butt off and the fat guy with a suit gets all the credit.
I love therapy sessions because I get to cry for an hour. It usually freaks out my patient, though.
When I was a kid, I used to sing, `A, B, C,D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P`
Four out of five voices in my head are saying this is gonna´ be a great day.
I know you`re the instructor but I`ve seen Ghost 47 times so I know for a fact this IS how pottery is made!
Ever been in the middle of writing a great post and think, did I just run someone over?
Since it is the day to give thanks, I would like to say once again...you`re welcome.
What I lack in good decisions, I make up for in inappropriate behavior.
I`m bored, I think I`ll ask my boyfriend if I look fat. - women
9/10 students agree that someone got lost on the field trip
What are the words I`m looking for? Oh yeah...Eat sh!t and die.
You have to PAY for a speeding ticket?! I thought it was a reward for beating other drivers..
roes are red violets are blue he`s for me not for you if for any chance you`ll take my place i`ll use my fist and smash your face
Fast food places should have a third window, where you can trade in the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window.