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How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
Tonight`s good mood is sponsored by ... Beer!!
Let me check my giveashitmeter ... nope nothing.
My New Year`s resolution was to lose 15 lbs by the middle of February. I have 20 lbs. to go.
I`m a bad multitasker and even a questionable monotasker
Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?
Sometimes I STOP when it`s not even Hammer time
To-Do List : Nothing[?]
There`s a warning light on my dashboard of a vague exclamation point. It`s like when my girlfriend was mad at me and she wouldn`t say why.
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you... I would start thinking about you.
It’s like I was put on this earth so unstable people have somebody to date.
Remember when everyone died before gluten-free bread?
Life gave me onions ... Onionade sucks.
I recently added squats to my workouts by moving the beer into the bottom shelf of the fridge.
Someone smells like cigarettes and bad decisions.......Oh it`s me? Sorry about that.