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Time heals all wounds...unless it`s infected or gangrene or something then time makes it worse.
Because of smart phones my thumbs now have biceps.
my wish for tonight is for the person reading this status to have a Good Night!
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Swag is for boys. Class is for men.
Me- We need eggs. Hub- How many? Me- One. See if they will sell you just one.
Rapper; "I`m killing them snitches, smacking then bitches, smokin blunts and f*ckin hoes!" *wins award* Rapper: "I just wanna thank god.."
I don`t hit the "Like" button on my own statuses because I am self-centered, it`s just that I amaze myself sometimes and I want to show my appreciation!!!!!!
To be Frank, I`ll have to change my name.
Don’t trust people that dislike pizza. They’re probably not human.
When you drink Vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure, When you drink Rum over ice, it can give you liver failure, When you drink Whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems, When you drink Gin over ice, it can give you brain problems. Apparently, ice is really bad for you.
Ironically the only way I`d watch the 50 Shades of Grey movie is if you tied me to a chair and forced me to.
For a generation that allowed YOLO, BAE, and KIM KARDASHIAN to happen, you sure have a lot of f*cking opinions on how things should be run.
You know what they say about men with big feet ;)..........We always have trouble finding shoes that fit.
Her profile said she was a stone cold freak. Turns out she was just a wrestling fan with bad capitalization skills. :(