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I’m beginning to believe that successful relationships come down to Netflix compatibility.
I have a hidden talent......I really wish I could find it!
Consumer confidence is at an all time high, and so am I.
have you ever been like "what`s the day today? ... no i mean the like the number".
So I just saw a donkey crossing the road. The cool thing was he looked both ways before crossing. What a smart a$$.
I think that there are two things that we can all agree on: Boobs.
I`ll show up at the gym when they put in a drive-thru.
A man made eye contact with me on the train, so I left my shoe behind ... And now, we wait...
Diamonds are the hardest substance in the world ... to get back from a woman
You don`t need training to be a street cleaner, you just pick it up as you go along.
Every time I visit my parents, I send the kids in first so they can signal me if it`s an intervention.
Being gay is fine. Being lesbian is fine. Being straight is fine. But do you know what’s not fine? Wearing crocs. That is NOT okay
Just read an article about a new species of spider in Sri Lanka that is the size of an average human`s face. In an unrelated matter, I have decided to NEVER visit Sri Lanka.
You haven’t truly won an argument until the other person says “whatever.”
I fake my lol`s