Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo
I just shaved my legs. I think I lost three pounds.
There`s no better reminder to visit your dentist than a trip to Walmart.
I was going to write something profound and memorable here, but I can`t remember what it was.
Yikes. don`t google "cream pies", google "cream pie recipes"
My sleep number is 100 proof.
Trying to achieve the perfect erection. How hard could it be?
Spring cleaning: The term that gives us an excuse to only clean once a year.
When your kids become teenagers, it`s important to have a dog so someone in the house is happy to see you.
At a wedding reception I recently attended someone said, "All the married men please stand next to the person who has made your life worth living." The bartender was nearly crushed to death.
Head and Shoulders should make a body wash called Everything Else
I took a nude photo of myself ... With the light off ... You`re welcome.
Redneck WORD OF THE DAY: WATER My girlfriend gets mad and I don`t even know water problem is!
Sometimes, I question my sanity ... Sometimes, it replies
If Wal-Mart ends up selling mortgages, the trailer market will explode.