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If someday we all go to prison for downloading Movies and TV shows, I just hope they split us up by genre.
Somewhere, a smart Lasik surgeon has an office full of brochures that are all slightly out of focus and a recovery room where they have clear print.
Limbo champion walks into a bar...he`s disqualified.
It`s a little known made up fact of mine that 40% of the air inside a Taco Bell is just farts.
is a mystery you´ll never solve
Beer doesn’t have that many vitamins in it…that’s why you have to drink a lot.
Yes I admit I am a freak. Now, grab some whip cream, some feathers, handcuffs, blindfold, a whip and follow me into the kitchen.
To the woman with six screaming kids in Walmart, if you wonder how those condoms got in your cart, you’re welcome.
gets drunk on one drink. The trouble is, I can´t remember if it´s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
Be thankful for Facebook, the way gas prices are headed we may never actually see each other again.
I`m Not Perfect. Your Not Perfect. But Together We Can Be a Perfect Sense of Humor LOL!
You know it’s a really good bar when there’s a couple outside breaking up.
My best friend sent me a message saying,"Your stupid," I replied,"atleast I know the difference between you`re and your,"
As a kid, I used to be afraid of the dark. Now as an adult, I love the dark because I’m terrified of the electricity bill.
If 3 people have sex, it`s called a 3-some. If 2 people have sex, it`s called a 2-some. I guess we now know why they call you HAND-some.