Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I need to find a way to be asleep but still get all my work done.
Even if I’m mad at my wife I should be mature enough not to flush the toilet on purpose while she’s in the shower, but it turns out I’m not.
I didn’t sign up for the 401k at work, because there’s no way I can run that far.
Are security guards at Samsung stores called Guardians of the Galaxy?
I never care whether or not my glass is half full or half empty... cause I drink straight from the bottle!
Every time a clerk asks "Did you find everything you need?" I always answer "No, I couldn`t find a hug"
There`s nothing like sitting by an open fire..watching the evidence burn.
the real full form of M.B.A....Married But Available
When she says she`s madly in love with you, concentrate more on the word madness.
50 notifications later I regret ever commenting on your status.
If Apple really want to introduce something new and "innovative" they should just release a longer charger.
Life in the fast lane ? Heck, I live in oncoming traffic.
I always give my extra money to Charity. She is usually on the main stage around 11pm.
The Super Bowl is over, everyone. Time to briefly learn the names of some Winter Olympians.
The boss keeps talking about a company 401k … I don’t think I can run that far!