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United States is where moms get a day and shark get a whole week.
Best thing about being single… -no drama -no fighting -no crying -no feelings -no confusion -no worries -no PROBLEMS!
"I woke up with morning wood. She woke up with morning wouldn`t."
Remember the good old days when making the “duck face” involved 2 Pringles?
Girl: I am not having having s@x with guys at the moment. Boy:I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue
Happy July 22nd! Today isn’t a holiday, but you’re alive and well, so why not celebrate?
My favorite flavor of ice cream is yes.
Did you know that if you light a candle under the moonlight and you say 3 times the name of the person you love, you will look really stupid doing that!
When suffering from insomnia I either count sheep or ask my GF how her day was.
I really need a day inbetween Saturday an Sunday
Apparently members of the Westboro Baptist Church were outside a theater when the marquee gave way and came crashing down injuring several of them amidst their protest. Witnesses overhead many of the members muttering to themselves, "It must be a sign."
Someone just called me normal, I`ve never been so insulted in all my life!
I wouldn`t consider myself someone that litters but I do turn on my windshield wipers while im driving down the road to get rid of that useless flyer some idiot put on my car when I quickly run into the store.
Crossfit is the healthiest way to get rid of your friends.
Please be patient...I`m fcuking things up as fast as I can.