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I hope Mexico doesn`t raise the cost of Tequila to pay for this wall.
Workout Journal Day #5: Jogging with a stroller is great exercise! And hard work for whoever is pushing me.
My doctor said if I wanna drop a few pounds I`d have to stay away from carbs. So I`ve been using this insanely long straw to drink beer
There`s nothing as wonderful as waking up in the morning next to a gorgeous smiling face. So I keep a mirror next to my bed.
ALCOHOL! Giving you the ambition to do anything, while simultaneously taking away your capability to do so.
I`m not sure if life is passing me by or trying to run me over.
Rum balls, rum cake, rum spiked eggnog, rum in fruitcakes...you know, anymore, there`s more of the Captain than of Christ in Christmas...
There are no limits to what you can accomplish when you’re supposed to be doing something else.
I got BOMBED last night and decided to do my own taxes and guess what! I`m getting 4 million dollars back this year!
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Sorry I missed your call ... I was to busy singing and dancing to the ringtone
In Canada, she`s Kilometery Cyrus.
You can tell how old someone is by what part of the chex mix is their favorite.
Never underestimate the power of cleavage.
When you`re a kid, it makes you feel proud when someone says "Wow! You`ve gotten so big since the last time I saw you!" As an adult, not so much.