Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes you can tell it’s going to be a bad day when someone you don’t like is smiling.
With a great a$$ comes great responsibility!
You can`t fix stupid but you can divorce it
Before having any kids make sure you’re done sleeping and doing things you like to do.
I`m trying to locate a girl from high school. You know, the one who could tie a cherry stem with her tongue.
I went to the doctor for a check up and he says I`m going to live. But I think he`s wrong and it`s just a matter of time.
I try to live each day like it`s my last, which is why I rarely have clean socks. Who wants to wash socks on the last day of their life?
*calling pizza place* "Hello?" Your pizza tastes like cardboard "Are you sure you`re not eating the box again?" *long pause* *click*
They always say "love makes the world go around"... They spelled beer wrong.
99% of people are stupid. Luckily, I’m part of the other 2%
Be nice to people on your way up so they won’t get suspicious when you’re rich and you invite them to your island to hunt them for sport.
Lisa has 750 friends on Facebook. A week later she adds 150 more to her friends list. What does she have? Answer-Big Boobs
Write me your opinions on this extra soft paper and leave it next to my toilet.
Alice in Wonderland taught me to drink things that I`m unsure of
OK so i have an idea ............... wait why are you all running away?