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Pandas are proof that if you have a cute enough outfit no one will call you fat.
I eat cake every day because I know somewhere out there, it`s someone`s birthday and I need to show respect.
I’m over the 30-day ab challenge. Is there a 30-day nap challenge I can take on?
I’ve been that, done that, had that, lost that, needed that and felt that. Just a few of the many reasons why I always drink to “that”.
Remember…it’s only embarrassing if you care what people think.
I’m not the friend you put on speaker phone.
I could of sworn my pillow`s a hairdreeser...coz I always wake up with the craziest hairstyles!! :D
1 in 3 Americans, weighs as much as the other 2.
I don`t even think it`s possible for a bear to cook porridge.
I have many hidden talents. Just wish I could find `em.
When someone says "everything happens for a reason" I`d like to smack them and say "yeah, I guess you`re right"
Tonight I`m playing hard to get off the sofa.
All this time I thought Bi-Polar was big white bear with no sexual preference.
Cop: Sir what is in the bottle next to you? Man: It`s water *hands the cop the bottle* Cop: Sir, this is wine. Man: Jesus did it again!
I`m getting really irritated. This is the tenth ATM I`ve been to in the last week that`s had "insufficient funds".