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Alcohol goes in, truth comes out.
About to try ordering subway without saying um... Wish me luck!
Do you ever get that feeling that you are being watched? Because if it is bothering you, I can stop.
On a scale of Doopers, you`re pretty Super.
Men are like cheap dishes - easily broken & completely replaceable!
I always try to behave on Friday nights but there are usually too many other options.
Shout out to old people for graduating high school without Google.
was on the treadmill for over an hour and I must say it is much easier with roller blades
is currently amending my "Who gets money" list when I win the lottery ... who has something nice to say?
Coffee: So I can do nothing with more energy.
Everything I know about women, I learned from the Wizard of Oz. For example: If a woman sees a pair of shoes she wants, she`ll drop a house on the bitch to get them.
We must STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under!
My iPhone has 2 million times the storage of the 1969 Apollo 11 spacecraft computer. They went to the moon. I text a lot.
Cats don`t come with instructions, so how is anyone supposed to know you can`t put them in the washing machine.
I need a new bad decision.