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AA meetings would be better if AA stood for Alcohol Afterwards
*Removes smoke detector battery *Cooks in silence
I thought Row vs. Wade was Washington`s decision when he reached the Delaware.
Some days I’d like to take a chainsaw and cut a few branches off my family tree.
Son to mom: why should I sweep the floor? Mom to son: do you want to be an Olympic Curl champion?
I see your arguement contains a lot of swear words, you must really know what you`re talking about
If women really knew what men think, there would be restraining orders on all men.
If I`m in your house and you have bookshelves... Be prepared to see me turning statues and bending down books while looking for your lair.
If you can´t amaze people with your intelligence, confuse them with your bullsh*t
If jail isn`t supposed to be fun, why do they get bunk beds?
I thought I`d try yoga to make myself more flexible, but I`m still incredibly stubborn.
In the 60`s we took LSD to make the world look wierd. Now the world is weird and we take Prozac to make it look normal.
If I notice an unfinished jigsaw puzzle at some`s house, I always take a piece home with me.
cuss words = sentence enhancers
Would buy you a drink but I would be jealous of the glass.