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Do not treat a woman like an object. It hates that...
Saw a chameleon today. So I guess it`s safe to say it was a pretty sh!tty chameleon.
So much for the saying, 3rd times a charm, I just checked my Mega Millions ticket for the 3rd time, and still nothing.
You can run from your problems. Unless your problem is a cheetah.
The best thing about being single is all the sleeping around you can do…I can sleep all over my bed!
I don`t know why people say life is short....this seems to be taking forever.
If Facebook changed "poke" to "stab" I would use it all the time.
The three most terrifying words a woman can utter to a man are "notice anything different?"
I’m starting to think we as a society may be trying to do too much with the Dorito.
I`m tired of things costing money
Did the Energizer Bunny finally stop going and going, and none of us even noticed it?
Why do they leave folding chairs so close to the wrestling ring? Shouldn’t the maintenance staff have learned their lesson by now?
I was enjoying our conversation. Until you started talking....
If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, does it really have calories?
I hate when I’m walking into the gym and the wind blows me into the liquor store.