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Sometimes I wrestle with my inner demons. Other times, we just hug.
If you think people are stupid, randomly post "Happy Birthday" wishes on peoples FB page and see how many others tell them happy birthday.
I watched my first Porn the other day. I looked so much younger back then!
I accidentally called 911, so I set my house on fire so I wouldn`t look stupid.
Everybody values honesty, until they have an ugly baby.
I wonder how long I`d be on hold if my call wasn`t important to them.
is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of "liking" my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I´m awesome..
I need a leaf blower, but for people.
Drunk me would really appreciate a light switch on the floor.
I try not to laugh at my own jokes. But we all know I`m hilarious.
I was just watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury.. No worries, I should be okay in a couple of days..
I swear, if Facebook changes their layout one more time, I’m going to post a status update about it & then use their site as much as always.
You call it reckless driving, I call it searching for my lighter.
Guy on plane: So, where are you going? Me: I`m guessing it`s the same place you`re going.
I think abs are for guys that don`t have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool.