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There`s a difference between having a unique name and a common name that`s spelled wrong.
Change of plans everyone: NOBODY Wang Chung tonight.
Today is Friday the 13th. Try not to be a teenage girl in her underwear at night at a deserted summer camp today.
Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on? Asking for a friend.
if your happy and you know it ---thank your ex
I realized my superpower.. I can walk into ANY bathroom.. And the toilet paper roll will be empty..
I like to make up words just to keep my auto correct in check.
whoever said that there are no stupid questions was stupid
I roasted a turkey today, but I don`t think he got the jokes.
Everyone’s an optimist when it comes to their car’s fuel gauge.
I thought she would duck officer- me checking the psychic`s ability
This guy at the gym just did 3 sets of selfies.
Keep it up and I`ll make sure u end up on a milk carton.
The best time to re-examine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial.
Can I get likes for no reason?