Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
So tell me, does it hurt to be so full of sh!t?
Do people who run know that we’re not food anymore.
Ladys have it easy, if they ever do start to loose an argument they can just start playing with their boobs
My wife says "YOU`RE DRUNK!" like it is a bad thing.
I see your arguement contains a lot of swear words, you must really know what you`re talking about
FACT: The "sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don`t" is not really a good defense in court
I wonder how many people die each year from lifeguards running in slow motion?
I don`t like making plans for the day, because then the pesky word "premeditated " gets thrown around in court.
My wife and I use the pull-out method of birth control where we pull out our phones and ignore each other every night.
Fact: Vegetarians live up to nine years longer than meat-eaters. Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, baconless, cheeseburgerless, meatless years.
If you don’t want to marry me, why did you sit next to me on this bus?
Who`s this "moderation" people keep telling me to drink with?
I went to Jared for my girlfriend`s Christmas gift. I`m sure she will love her Subway gift card.
A real man should never wave faster than he says the word “hey”
People who get offended on the internet are the same people who take mini golf seriously.