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when she says "size doesn`t matter" what she really means is "I have been disappointed before." :)
There aren`t enough love songs about the moment you see your luggage appear at baggage claim.
How come "you`re a peach" is a complement but "you`re bananas" is an insult? Why are we allowing fruit discrimination to tear society apart?
The recipe said "prick with a fork,",,,, but enough about me.
Best Relationship Advice: Make sure you’re the crazy one.
Okay, I am getting really irritated. This is the 5th ATM I`ve been to today that`s had "insufficient funds".
I hate brushing my teeth at night. It signifies I can`t have any more food and I`m never ready for that kind of commitment
You make me feel "I`m-typing-this-with-my-middle-finger" angry.
I really want to take photos of my friends with their face smushed against glass.. Then make that pic my phone contact for them.. Then when they call, it will look like they`re trapped inside my phone! Oh god my life is pitiful, kill me..
If they made a movie of my life, it would just be a lot of scenes where I`m looking for something to wipe my hands on.
There were 2 muffins in a muffin shop the first 1 says "I love being a muffin!" then the 2 muffin says ``Holy crap its a talking muffin!"
You know you had an awesome night when you need sunglasses to get food out the fridge.
I`m not naughty ... I`m mischievously creative
Scariest Moment: Flushing the toilet at someone else’s house, and seeing the water rise…
Ice skating is just walking in cursive.